Life won't wait to pass me by

The outright pathetic fact that I'm writing this on a Saturday night after turning 21 just days prior should essentially summarize how I'm feeling. This hopefully won't become a trend here, but with nothing else is on my mind and I still feel as though I have something to say. And without anything else to do right now, other than sip my amaretto, I guess writing just seems like the natural thing to do.

Any lonely Saturday night feels a bit troubling, but the facts of why tonight - as well as last night - went without company is what makes it all the worse. I had friends, even if we weren't the most exciting bunch, but as time passed and everyone went in different ways I just never found new things to do. I never found a way to replace the time spent with people I don't have anymore.

And all of that would be one thing, but the expectations I've put on myself make me feel like a joke. I've realized that my life was passing me by faster than I would have liked and prepared myself mentally to change that. I tried to grasp life and take control - find stability where I needed it and create chaos where I wanted it. I even got it tattooed across my arm so that I could never forget how to live. I told myself that life won't wait... and then, 2 weeks into school, I have nothing to do on a Saturday night after turning 21 just days prior. No one to go out to the bar with. No one to party it up. Not even anyone who wants to sip on a whiskey and watch class hockey on the NHL network.

What's the problem? Me. And the solution lies there, too. It just seems like a distant goal to actually make friends when before I always just sort of found them. At age 21, how easy is it to change your ways and change your habits? How hard is it to make yourself outgoing despite rarely finding people you give a shit about? Now if I can answer those, I'll either have succeeded in curing this endless boredom or jumped off a bridge realizing I'm never going to change. Either way, life can't wait any longer.

Why...

The debut of "Seeing 360" should probably do a bit of explaining as to why I need to join the rest of the world is blogging about something. Well I'm bored and want to exploit the Internet so I can pretend the ramblings of a college punk are actually getting out somewhere. The point is essentially the lack of a point, as that is exactly how life feels right now. No goal and no gain, just a reluctance to fall into the nihilist mindset due to a misplaced sense of optimist.

Just because I lack a point doesn't mean that I won't have anything to say. I probably won't, but that's not really an inherent problem. I do a lot of thinking, whether relevant outside my personal world or not, and I'd like to hope I can write it in a way that can apply to the world I don't know. More than likely, I can just rant about shit and talk about music. It seems like that is all my life has boiled down to most of the time anyway.

Which reminds me, go out and buy The Have Nots' album "Serf City USA" and then see them whenever you can. They'll be opening up for Swingin' Utters in Providence on Sept. 14th and Boston on the 26th. Check them out now.

This fall is going to be filled with concerts, which means full of music, full of people, and full of knocks to the head. Starting a bit tame with Billy Idol on the 14th, but from there is it chaos. Now I just need to pay for it all.